well… I’ve been bad. I’ve lied, cheated, stolen, and been ungrateful for what I have, but im afraid habits rule my wake.

Sometimes when the year is coming to an end. I can get severely depressed. Ill let my emotions and thoughts about the future get to me so much I cam ruin a perfectly good evening. And then sometimes my curiosity can get the best of me. Im like the eager child waiting for christmas morning and has to open the biggest gift the night before. Only to be disappointed in the morning. This year was different. I actually waited patiently. And was stoked about everything I got. And it was all from him. Which made it really awesome and sad at the same time. I really just want to be happy and my subconscious just will not stop until that is not the case. The bitch just insist on making me miserable. Ignorance is bliss I’ve learned that the hard way this year. Enjoy the time you have and I guess just appreciate what is in front of you cause it might not be there forever, actually it could be gone in the blink of an eye if you don’t keep them open often enough. These words are easier to type then to live by. But ill try. Next year its starting over from day one. Another year another life lesson learned. Trust will always be an issue for me. And I hope 2012 will prove itself worthy of my trust. I’ve also decided I will no longer make excuses especially for things/people who wouldn’t make that kind of effort for me. And of course that’s a deep issue one in which you will never understand.